Nightmare Before Sunshine

I was extremely disappointed today.

I was extremely happy in the morning. Everything seemed to go really well with work and packing. Once evening came, things started to be rocky. I was having issues, easily offended and emotional. I could only hear the words 'blame' and 'isolation'. I just wasn't happy with the way I was being treated. I felt unfair treatment and ranking discrimination. 

I couldn't take it anymore. Yet, God was telling me to forgive and to say sorry. Yep I apologized ... nevertheless, my heart still feels heavy. My heart has a huge weight stepping on it. I feel crushed, isolated and depressed. This is definitely not the kind of life I wanted. 

I have never been emotional. I always had a sweet spirit and was always calm, cheerful and happy go lucky. Things have changed. The issues have changed everything. The different incidents have changed my personality. I just don't feel 'me' anymore. I want to return to being the 'old me'. I need to escape all these issues and avoid people who are causing these issues. This is turning into a big nightmare, turning me into a person that I'm not. 

I miss 'The Old Me'. I'm trying to be as strong as I can. Why can't things return to the way it was before? I need to honestly read my Bible and Pray. The only solution is running to God and finding comfort in HIM and finding the solutions to my problems ...... 

Improving Each Time

Things seem to get better and better.I've never believed in myself, especially in the midst of challenges. As I go through challenges, I learn over the course of time. I receive better results over the course of time. It's almost the end of Semester 1 and I feel as if I've learned so much ever since.

The only thing that I have to do now is maintain that and keep pushing forward. I just need to remind myself that I should stop doubting and keep doing what I do ... helping myself to do better by learning new strategies to up my skill.

I may not be perfect but I'm working hard with God as my guiding light. Okay, back to assignment mode.

My Solution

Have you ever wanted something that takes a long time to fulfil? It's depressing just waiting for that one thing that takes ages to arrive. Sure, it's a process that requires planning and patience. Yet, the waiting process seems to put its arrival on a long haul.

I know that God desires to give us the best. The Bible clearly mentions that we will eat the best of our land. We only need to wait upon the Lord and have faith that the blessing will come to past. I've been reading the same verse over and over again. I know that I have to keep praying and have faith in HIM that the blessing will come to past.

Throughout my whole life ... God has planned every single thing carefully and ensured that I'm placed in good hands. There is nothing to be anxious about, for the LORD has always placed everything accordingly at the right place and at the right time. Now ... that's my solution. What about your solution? :)

What would you do?

What would you do if the one you truly loved places his family before you? For example, when his/her family is around, he/she would isolate you, leaving you in that cold, lonely room.

I was watching this Taiwanese drama. X left her husband because all the husband thought about was his mother. His wife came second after his mother. All the money he earned would be kept in his mother's safe box. Furthermore, X's husband would listen to every single word his mother criticised about X. Watching this scene made me take pity on X. How can her husband put his mother before her? She was merely living in a world where her husband and mother exist, making her a shadow/ghost. It didn't seem very fair to her. 

I wonder if it's possible for this to happen in reality? It would be a scary thing if it existed. Humans are scary ... nothing is impossible. I can see why X left her husband. Having a husband who puts his family before you is not worth it for you to keep him in your arms. If you're ever caught in the above situation, leave him. Your tears, pain, and love are not worth it for him. You are worth it, find someone who loves you as you are, someone who loves you and cares for you and someone who puts you first after God.